You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
