Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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