But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
