where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
