You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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