The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
