My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
