Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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