C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
