I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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