Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
