I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
