Just cropdusted the office
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
