Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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