I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
