I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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