Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Even my vagina gasped.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
