dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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