you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
