yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
