Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
