i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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