wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
