I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
