He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
