i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
