making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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