I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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