"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
