If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
