Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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