can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
