Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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