We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
