you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
