i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
