This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
