oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
