I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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