so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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