There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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