i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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