Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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