the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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