I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
