Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
