all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
how do flat chested girls get laid?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
tell me about the fingering
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
