I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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