O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
