I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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