Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
