Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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