it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
